Your Blueprint to Habits that Stick

We've all got that one thing, right? That habit we've been trying to shake forever.

Or not and you are just perfect. I envy you in this case, you Perfect Thing. But now we gather those of us who are struggling to make a change in our daily routine, in our actions, in our reactions.

If you’ve been out there hunting for the "magic number" of days it takes to form a habit, you might have stumbled upon the popular belief that it takes 21 days. Well, news flash: it’s a myth! Dive into some recent research, and you'll find a more accurate number: 66 days. That's right, on average, it takes about 66 days to form a new habit. But, as with everything in life, there's more to it than just a number. Let’s unpack this.

Understanding this timeframe isn't just about knowing how long it might take to solidify a habit. It's about setting our expectations right. Imagine starting with the mindset that it'll only take three weeks to cement a habit, then finding yourself falling short. Frustrating, right?

But if we step into this journey with the understanding that it's a bit of a marathon and not a sprint, we set ourselves up for success from the get-go.

A study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology examined the habits of participants over a span of 12 weeks. They found that, on average, it took people 66 days before a new behavior became automatic. Now, the key word here is "average." For some, it took only 18 days, and for others, a whopping 254 days. So, remember, everyone's journey is different. Your 66 days might be someone else's 30 or 100. The crucial thing is consistency.

And this brings me to my next point: flexibility. If you're anything like me, you know life's unpredictable. There will be days when you'll crush it, and then there will be days when you won't. That's okay.

The 66-Day Rule isn't about perfection. It's about progression. If you miss a day, don't beat yourself up. Jump back in. Because here's the truth – it's not the single days that make the difference, but the collective effort over time.

If you're gearing up to start a new habit, think of these 66 days as your foundational phase. It’s like laying down the bricks for a house you’re building. Each day, with each action, you're setting another brick in place.

Week 1-2: The Excitement Phase

Feel: Ah, the allure of something new! Whether you're picking up a guitar for the first time or lacing up your running shoes for that morning run, the initial days are powered by pure enthusiasm. There’s this rush of adrenaline, thinking about the potential outcome, and the new version of yourself at the end of the road.

Challenge: But here's the kicker. While the motivation is high, so is the risk of burnout. In the initial fervor, we tend to go ALL IN, pushing ourselves harder than our current capacities, which can lead to fatigue or even injuries.

Action: Prioritize consistency over intensity. The goal in these early days is not to be the best but to simply show up every single day. Lay the foundation. If you're starting a new fitness routine, for example, it's more about creating a time slot in your daily routine rather than smashing a high-intensity workout daily.

Week 3-4: The Reality Check Phase

Feel: This is the phase where the rubber meets the road. That early excitement? It starts to wane a bit. The reality of the effort, time, and commitment required becomes apparent.

Challenge: It's easy to be swayed by external factors now. Maybe it’s the weather, a negative comment, or simply the comfort of your bed that makes you question your resolve.

Action: Reconnect with your reasons. Why did you start this? Was it to be healthier? To master a skill? To prove something to yourself?

When motivation dips, it will let commitment take the wheel. Visualize the end game. Maybe even maintain a journal documenting your journey, the highs and the lows.

Week 5-9: The Grind Phase

Feel: Now you're in the thick of things. You’ve crossed the beginner's phase, and now you're navigating the middle part of the journey, where a lot of the actual growth happens.

Challenge: The habit is forming but isn't rock solid yet. There might be days you feel you're on auto-pilot, and then days when you're questioning the process.

Action: This phase is all about small, consistent efforts. It's not about giant leaps but about the tiny steps taken daily. Celebrate the small wins; they act as fuel.

Managed to stick to your diet while at a party? Win! Practiced your guitar for 30 minutes even though you were tired? Win!

Week 10 and beyond: The Mastery Phase

Feel: This is where the magic starts to happen. The habit, the routine, the practice - it's becoming a part of your identity.

Challenge: Complacency. When things start to feel easy, there's a risk of taking it for granted.

Action: While the habit might be taking less conscious effort now, it’s essential to keep revisiting and refining.

Always be on the lookout for ways to improve, innovate, and challenge yourself. Because mastery isn't just about doing something repeatedly, but about evolving in the process.

Whether it’s 21, 66, or 250 days, the journey is uniquely yours. Embrace it. Celebrate it. And most importantly, believe in it. Because when it comes to forming habits, it's not just about the days you put in, but the heart and hustle you bring to each day.

So, no matter where you are in your journey, remember, each phase has its lessons and its challenges. Stay self-aware, stay hungry, and keep grinding. You've got this!

Download this worksheet to guide and motivate you along the way.