Communication is the soul of human existence, the essential bridge that connects us to each other. We communicate to express our thoughts, share our experiences, and create meaningful connections. Through communication, we build relationships, foster understanding, and navigate the complexity of our shared reality. Whether spoken words, written messages, or non-verbal cues, the fundamental purpose of communication is to convey our inner world to the outer realm, to be heard, seen and understood. In essence, we communicate to enrich our lives, create connections, and illuminate human connections.

But what about the unspoken words?

The weight of unspoken words can be just as burdensome as those spoken aloud, silently shaping our thoughts, emotions, and connections. In this article, we explore the complexity of unspoken words, delving into the depths of their impact and discovering the transformative power of authentic expression.

Deep in our hearts, there is a multitude of thoughts and emotions yearning to be expressed. Yet, too often, we find ourselves trapped in fear of judgment, rejection, or confrontation. We bottle up our true thoughts, bury our feelings, and suppress our authentic selves. But what we fail to realize is that what we cannot say belongs to us. It holds us captive, limiting our growth and hindering our ability to connect with others.

What we cannot say holds us captive

When we silence our thoughts and emotions, they don't simply disappear. Instead, they silently weigh upon our hearts and minds, causing internal conflict, stress, and even physical discomfort. The longer we hold them in, the heavier the burden becomes. It's like carrying a heavy backpack filled with unresolved thoughts and unexpressed emotions everywhere we go, hindering our freedom to move forward.

Unspoken words have an intangible weight that lingers in our souls, discreetly shaping our experiences. It is the weight of regret for words left unsaid, the burden of feelings not shared, and the weight of truths not expressed. This weight affects not only our individual well-being but also our relationships and the world around us.

However, it is essential to recognize that silence itself can communicate, sometimes with even greater power. Unspoken words carry their own weight, often leaving room for misinterpretation, assumption, and unfulfilled potential for a deeper connection.

Practical psychological tricks

With all this in mind, how can we express ourselves authentically? What are some practical psychological tricks to free ourselves from these self-imposed limitations? Here are some of the most useful ones also recommended by therapists

1. Self-Awareness and Acceptance:

Take time to explore your thoughts, emotions, and desires. Acknowledge and accept them without judgment. Understand that every part of you is valuable and worth expressing. This means courageously examining our thoughts and emotions, embracing vulnerability, and allowing ourselves to be authentic. By acknowledging and accepting our innermost desires and fears, we lay the groundwork for genuine expression.

2. Cultivate Emotional Intelligence:

Emotional intelligence (as defined and studied by Daniel Goleman) refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions, as well as to perceive and empathize with the emotions of others. You are aware of and in tune with one's own emotions, as well as being able to regulate and express them appropriately. It involves being able to understand and interpret the emotions of others, showing empathy, and effectively communicating with them.

Developing emotional intelligence can lead to greater self-awareness, better self-management, and improved social skills. This awareness enables us to express ourselves more effectively and authentically. Start by being aware of your own emotions and practice labeling and expressing your emotions in a healthy and positive way.

3. Embracing Vulnerability:

Accept vulnerability (beautifully described by Brene Brown) as a gateway to authentic expression. Share your thoughts, dreams, and fears with people you trust. Allow yourself to be seen and heard, knowing that true connection is born from your vulnerable place. By bravely opening ourselves up to the possibility of rejection or misunderstanding, we create an opportunity for authentic connection. In this space of vulnerability, we give others permission to do the same, fostering a deep sense of trust and intimacy. At this point, we can begin to express our innermost thoughts.

4. The Art of Conversation -Communicate assertively:

Assertive communication is a style of interpersonal interaction that involves expressing one's thoughts, feelings and needs in a confident and respectful manner. It manifests itself by expressing ourselves effectively while taking into account the rights and perspectives of others. When we communicate assertively we strike a balance between passivity, whereby we avoid expressing our needs and opinions, and aggression, whereby we ignore the rights and feelings of others.

It is an approach to communication that promotes open dialogue, active listening, and assertive expression of thoughts and emotions. When we communicate assertively we are able to clearly express our needs and limitations while maintaining empathy and understanding towards others. This style of communication fosters healthy relationships, builds trust, and allows us and those around us to present ourselves in a respectful and constructive way.

Engaging in thoughtful and meaningful conversations using this style of expression allows us to share our inner thoughts, and dreams with others. By actively listening and responding with empathy, we create a mutual exchange of unspoken words that turn into shared understanding and mutual empowerment.

5. Artistic Expression:

Maybe you've never thought you could be more artistic or even try to express yourself through art. But the truth is, you can make your own artwork. Art is something that can't fit into limiting standards. It's the only thing that can be limited by your own imposition that holds your imagination and creativity. Let me tell you, for many, artistic endeavors become a channel to release the weight of unspoken words (as shown by research). Through poetry, painting, music, or dance, anyone can channel their deepest emotions and experiences into creative expression. This allows us to express what may have remained hidden, providing catharsis and emotional release. So, stop thinking about what it will look like in the end, start today to let go and embody the originality of your inner unspoken world in art. After a few tries, you will be surprised by the results.

Keep in mind, that the weight of unspoken words should not be underestimated. In silence lies untapped potential, stifled emotions, and unrealized connections. However, by embracing the power of authentic expression, we can ease this burden and create deeper connections with ourselves and others. Recognizing that what we cannot say belongs to us, we can embark on a transformative journey to overcome the fears and limitations that prevent us from expressing ourselves authentically. Remember, the choice is yours.