My Vulnerability

As I look back on my personal journey of self-discovery and growth, one concept that has had a profound impact on my life is vulnerability. It's a word that used to evoke fear and discomfort in me, but as I began to understand its meaning and significance, I realized the need to be vulnerable.

I didn't believe in stories about princesses and princes coming to rescue them. I didn't see myself in the image of the princess who had to be rescued by the prince on a white horse. Why wait for him to come? I'd rather do my own rescuing. It's even more effective. So, I skilfully avoided the moments when I felt I was becoming vulnerable, and so my journey continued away from these moments of weakness and I became an independent person.

Everything was easy for me as long as I didn't get emotionally involved and I wasn't in danger of becoming vulnerable, until a moment when I realized that something was missing in my personal life. I focused on the passions that brought me pleasure and surprisingly, it was still there, not gone. I began to pay more attention to what I was feeling and what I was avoiding feeling. I figured it out. I was missing the connection with my dear ones. But how to find it? After a long journey of insight and therapy, I have found the answer and feel the need to help you with guidance on what I have found so you can free yourself emotionally.

In this article and the next ones, we will embark together on a necessary journey to understand what vulnerability is and see why it is essential to our personal development. Through this journey, we will discover the hidden opportunities that lie within vulnerability and how accepting it can lead to a life of deeper connection with our dear ones and personal growth. We will find the answer to a myth of vulnerability in the idea that we are either brave OR afraid.

Defining Vulnerability

First, to understand the concept of vulnerability, we must define it. After serious research on this topic, this definition by Brene Brown I found to be complete:

Vulnerability is having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. It's the feeling we get during times of uncertainty, risk, or emotional exposure. This includes times when we’re showing our feelings and we’re not sure what people will think and times when we really care about something and people will know that we’re sad or disappointed when it doesn’t work out.

As I understand, it is the willingness to show up authentically and wholeheartedly, despite the fear of judgment or rejection. Vulnerability is about being open and honest with ourselves and others, allowing ourselves to be seen and heard in our raw and imperfect state.

At its core, vulnerability is an acknowledgment of our shared human experience. It is an acceptance of our imperfections, our struggles, and our emotions. By embracing vulnerability, we give ourselves permission to be real, to make mistakes, and to grow.

The Importance of Vulnerability

Why is vulnerability so crucial to our personal development journey? The answer lies in the profound impact it can have on our lives. When we embrace vulnerability, we open up deeper connections, authentic relationships, and meaningful experiences. By opening ourselves up to others, we create opportunities for empathy, understanding, and growth. Vulnerability allows us to free ourselves from the constraints of fear and self-protection, fostering personal and emotional freedom.

I have always been hesitant to express my true feelings and thoughts, fearing judgment and rejection. However, through a series of personal experiences and introspection, I realized that by hiding my vulnerability, I was limiting myself from my own development and preventing deeper connections with others. It was a pivotal moment when I decided to start embracing vulnerability, allowing myself to be open and honest with those around me. It's a process I'm still working hard at, but the impact has been profound as I've discovered the power of vulnerability in developing deep, authentic connections and in personal transformation.

Debunk some of the myths of vulnerability by

֍ Checking the idea that we’re either brave OR afraid. It is normal to experience fear when faced with uncertain or challenging situations. However, it is important to remember that fear does not have to paralyze us. We have the capacity to be both afraid and brave at the same time. Being brave does not mean the absence of fear, but rather the willingness to take action despite feeling afraid. It is about acknowledging our fears, embracing them, and summoning the courage to move forward.

It sounds like this:" I feel uncertain and unsure about something I want to do, say, or try because I don’t know if it’s going to work out and I might feel sad or disappointed if it doesn’t."

֍ Checking the idea that being uncomfortable is part of being brave. When we step out of our comfort zone and face new challenges, it is normal to feel a sense of unease and uncertainty. However, in these moments of discomfort, we have the opportunity to grow and expand our horizons. Embracing discomfort requires a willingness to go beyond our perceived boundaries and explore unknown territories. It means being open to new experiences, ideas, and perspectives that may initially make us uncomfortable. By accepting discomfort, we allow ourselves to break free from the boundaries of the familiar and embark on a journey of personal growth and self-discovery.

It sounds like this: "I want to do something I think is brave but other people might think it’s dumb."

֍ Checking the idea that really brave people don’t feel scared or awkward. It's about recognizing that feeling scared or awkward is a natural part of stepping out of our comfort zone and pursuing our goals. Instead of letting fear hold us back, being brave is about accepting those emotions and taking action anyway. It means having the courage to face challenges head-on, knowing that growth and transformation often lie on the other side of our fears. By acknowledging our fears and choosing to move forward in spite of them, we harness our inner strength and resilience and open ourselves to new possibilities and experiences.

It sounds like this: "I want to try something new that makes me feel uncomfortable or awkward."

On our way to understanding our vulnerability, we don't have to share everything with everyone. Being vulnerable does not mean sharing too much. Vulnerability without limits is not vulnerability. We should share with people we trust.

Let me give you starters for your journey in vulnerability. I will give you a few topics and affirmations that will help you understand yourself and what you need to work on if you answer them truthfully. Think about them until next time (this is your homework). Is it you?

>> I don’t do vulnerability.

Thinking, “Nope, I don’t let myself feel vulnerable. I either get the part or I don’t and that’s that.”

>> I can go it alone.

Thinking, “I can go through this by myself without anyone’s help. No one needs to know how important this is to me.”

>> Trust comes before vulnerability.

Thinking, “I don’t trust anyone, and therefore I can’t be vulnerable and share how I really feel about this."

>> Vulnerability is a weakness.

Thinking, “I’m weak for feeling this scared about my interview.”

So, my dear reader, until the next time we meet, find out your starting point in this journey. Maybe you, like I did, can go alone or think vulnerability is a weakness. We will all sort out until the end and help you open yourself up to a world of possibility, just stay with me on this journey.

Remember, embracing our vulnerability is not a one-time achievement but rather a continuous journey of self-discovery and growth. By understanding its importance, cultivating authenticity, nurturing relationships, and navigating the fear that arises, we can harness the transformative power of vulnerability.

It is through vulnerability that we can forge deeper connections, and cultivate authenticity. As we continue our journey, let's embrace vulnerability as a strength, recognizing the courage it takes to show up authentically in the world.

In the article ahead, we will explore how to embrace vulnerability in our relationships, the benefits of being vulnerable, and practical strategies for overcoming our fears that often accompany vulnerability.