I found myself thinking about solitude when someone said he was a loner. We were talking about his lifestyle and how he felt about his life. That made me think more about what it means for him to be alone and find if there are other perspectives to understand how we relate to solitude.

As I began researching this topic I learned that a loner is a person who does not actively seek or avoid interaction with other people. There may be several reasons for their solitude. Deliberate reasons include introversion, mysticism, spirituality, religion, or personal considerations. Unintended reasons involve being highly sensitive or shy.

The first thing that was obvious from my encounter with this friend, was that in a world where social connections and extroversion are often celebrated, being a loner is sometimes misunderstood. Some people find comfort in solitude, drawing strength from loneliness rather than seeking constant social interactions. I know that it is essential to strike a healthy balance between socializing and spending time alone, being a loner is not the same as being alone or isolated. During a challenging phase in my life, I have often found peace and comfort in moments of solitude. While others may perceive it as loneliness, I have come to realize that being a loner allows me to delve into self-reflection, fostering a deeper understanding of myself and my emotions. Expert psychologist Dr. Susan Cain once said, "Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe."

As a child, it took me some time to understand that being a loner was not a weakness but rather allowed me to explore my creativity and interests with unsuspected focus. Embracing solitude has enabled me to face life's challenges with a greater sense of self-awareness and emotional resilience. So for those of us who prefer to spend a lot of time alone, new research suggests good news: there are advantages to being alone - both for our professional lives and our emotional well-being.

Benefits of being alone as shown by research

Whether it's a solitary walk in nature or engaging in introspective activities, embracing solitude has been associated with positive outcomes for mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. Let's see what benefits research has found.

1. More Creative

Research suggests that solitude can be a catalyst for increased creativity. When we are alone, we have the freedom to explore our thoughts without distractions, fostering an environment favorable to innovative thinking and problem-solving. Psychologists have found that moments of solitude can lead to a 'quieting' of the mind, allowing unique ideas to emerge and creative visions to develop.

Gregory Feist, who focuses on the psychology of creativity at California’s San Jose State University, research on both artists and scientists showed that one of the most prominent features of creative folks is their lesser interest in socializing.

2. Better Focused and Productive

Spending time alone allows us to focus on tasks and goals without interruptions. Research has shown that solitude can boost productivity, allowing us to focus on the task at hand, leading to higher levels of efficiency and achievement. Without external distractions, moments of solitude become opportunities for peak performance. A study published in Current Directions in Psychological Science found that brainstorming was enhanced when participants alternated between brainstorming alone and with a group.

3. Self-Aware

Solitude provides an ideal setting for self-reflection and introspection. Research has shown that people who regularly spend time alone tend to have a deeper understanding of themselves, their emotions, and their values. This heightened self-awareness can lead to better decision-making, personal growth, and a stronger sense of identity.

4. Reduced Stress and Anxiety

Time spent in solitude can act as a buffer against the stressors of everyday life. Research has shown that engaging in soothing solitary activities, such as reading, meditating, or listening to music, can significantly reduce stress and anxiety levels. Time spent alone allows us to recharge and find inner peace in the midst of life's challenges.

5. More Empathetic

Contrary to the belief that loneliness fosters emotional detachment, research shows that spending time alone can increase empathy and emotional intelligence. When we have moments of quiet reflection, we become more attuned to our own emotions and those of others. This heightened emotional awareness allows for better empathic responses in social interactions.

6. Strengthened Relationships

Paradoxically, spending time alone can strengthen social relationships. Research has shown that people who value solitude tend to have healthier and more satisfying relationships with others. By cultivating a sense of self-sufficiency and self-awareness through solitude, individuals are better prepared to engage in meaningful connections with others.

7. Renewed Energy

Solitude can be restful for our mind and body. Research has shown that time spent alone can replenish cognitive resources, relieve mental fatigue, and improve overall well-being. Taking breaks from social interactions and responsibilities allows us to recharge our energy, leading to greater motivation and vitality.

An online survey called The Rest Test showed that the majority of activities people define as most restful are things that are done solo.

To sum up

Now I understand why my friend is so content with his life. I too used the power of solitude. This is the beauty of spending time alone without feeling lonely. There is this strength that comes from finding solace in your own company.

"I am a loner, but not lonely" is an empowering journey of self-discovery, independence, and authenticity.

Moving forward with my research, I found another perspective to think about solitude:

? What if we protect ourselves from emotional pain and avoid the vulnerabilities that come with relationships?

? What if we protect ourselves due to past traumas, rejections, or emotional wounds that have left us hesitant to open ourselves up to people around us? So we shield ourselves in solitude.

See you in the next post for this angle.