Can You Be Too Emotionally Available

I was just told I'm too “emotionally available”. I don't understand what that means. Do you?

This was my friend talking, asking questions, and trying to understand what happened. She thought she was happy in her relationship and then her partner simply told her so and they broke up.

I began to dive deeper into what is and why being too emotionally available can actually be detrimental to your mental health and relationships. While it's important to be empathetic and supportive, constantly putting others' needs before your own can lead to burnout and resentment. I began to expose the reasons behind this phenomenon and offer practical advice on how to set healthy boundaries and cultivate emotional balance. So I wrote this article based on this experience with my friend thinking that there are many people out there with the same question who need an answer.

Let's clear something first. Emotional availability involves being open to connecting emotionally, while empathy specifically refers to understanding and sharing others' feelings. While the two traits often go hand in hand, they are not identical.

Being Too Emotionally Available

Emotional availability refers to our willingness and ability to engage in open and honest emotional connections with others. It involves being receptive to the emotions of others, expressing empathy, and offering support when needed. Emotional openness encourages deeper relationships and allows us to connect on an intimate level.

While emotional availability is generally seen as a desirable trait, there can be downsides when taken to extremes. Excessive emotional availability can lead to neglecting our own emotional needs, pushing aside personal boundaries, and prioritizing the feelings of others over our own feelings.

Signs of being too emotionally available

Being too emotionally available can manifest in various ways. Here are the most common ones you may recognize once you start paying attention to how things happen and how you and those around you respond.

# When you find yourself constantly prioritizing others' emotions over your own, it could be a sign that you are overextending yourself.

# You might have a tendency to neglect your own emotional needs in order to be there for others.

# Another indication is struggling to establish healthy emotional boundaries, causing you to become entangled in others' emotions to the extent that it affects your own well-being. Too much emotional availability can blur personal boundaries, making it difficult to discern your own emotions from those of others.

# If you often feel emotionally drained, it could be an indicator that you are absorbing the emotional energy of those around you.

# Additionally, having difficulty saying no to emotional requests and feeling a sense of responsibility for fixing others' emotions might suggest that you're overly available emotionally. You may experience feelings of guilt or anxiety when you do.

# Neglecting self-care means that you always are expected to provide support without receiving it in return. This often leads to a situation where you're expected to provide unwavering support to others, yet you rarely receive the same level of care and understanding in return.

# Becoming overly dependent on others for validation and support. When you consistently seek validation, reassurance, and emotional support primarily from others, it could indicate that you are relying on external sources for your emotional well-being. This might stem from a desire to please and gain approval, potentially leading to neglecting your own needs and feelings. This pattern of seeking constant validation can result in an emotional dependency on others, where your self-worth becomes intertwined with their responses.

While it's admirable to be there for others, being too emotionally available can have negative consequences. Constantly prioritizing the needs of others can lead to burnout, resentment, and a diminished sense of self. It can also create an unhealthy dynamic in relationships where you can become the designated emotional caregiver, always expected to provide support without receiving it in return. This imbalance can lead to feelings of frustration and feeling taken for granted.

Recognizing these signs is the first step toward achieving emotional balance.

Emotional boundaries needed

Setting emotional boundaries is essential for maintaining emotional balance. Boundaries help us to define what is and is not acceptable in our interactions with others. They allow us to protect our emotional well-being while being with others in a healthy and sustainable way. To develop emotional boundaries, it is important to identify and communicate your needs, learn to say no when necessary, and prioritize self-care. Remember, setting boundaries is not selfish; it is an act of self-respect and self-preservation.

How to establish healthy boundaries

Achieving emotional balance requires mindful effort and practice. Here are some strategies to help you find balance:

1. Self-reflection: Take the time to reflect on your own emotional needs and identify any patterns or behaviors that may be contributing to your imbalance. Identify and understand your emotional tendencies and recognize when you might be sacrificing your emotional needs.

2. Self-care: Prioritize self-care activities that nourish and recharge you, such as exercising, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy. Prioritize yourself to recharge emotionally.

3. Learn to say no: It's okay to say no when you need to or if you're not in a position to offer help. Setting boundaries and learning to prioritize your own needs is essential for maintaining emotional balance.

4. Communication is Key: Openly communicate your emotional needs to those close to you. They may not realize the impact of your emotional availability on your own well-being.

5. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it's okay to prioritize your own well-being. Replace harsh self-talk with kind and supportive language. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a friend facing a challenge.

Summing up

Finding our emotional balance is a journey that requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and consistent effort. It's about learning to be there for others while still prioritizing your own emotional well-being. By recognizing the signs of being too emotionally available, setting healthy boundaries, and seeking support when needed, we can achieve emotional balance.

Remember, it's not selfish to take care of yourself; it's necessary. Find your emotional balance and discover the positive impact it can have on your well-being.

Be brave and start working on your emotional health. Join our amazing community because I'm here to support you to be well.