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Cultivate Positive Habits and Kick Bad Ones to the Curb!

Let's start with some tough love, my dear reader!

Your life today is essentially the sum of your habits. How fit or out of shape are you? A result of your habits. How happy or unhappy are you? A result of your habits. How successful or unsuccessful are you? A result of your habits.


Habits are those consistent actions or routines that have become so ingrained in our lives that they seem almost inseparable from who we are. What you do repeatedly (i.e. what you spend time thinking and doing every day) ultimately shapes who you are, the things you believe in, and the personality you have.


Now, why do I call them "annoying"? Because habits can be sneaky. They sneak up on us, sometimes without us even realizing it. One day we try a new soda, and the next thing we know we're guzzling three cans a day. And while some habits are fantastic - like reading before bed or taking a daily walk - others can hold us back, big time.


We all have that thing, right? That habit we've been trying to get rid of forever. Maybe it's hitting the snooze button too many times in the morning. Or maybe it's mindlessly looking at your phone during dinner. These habits may seem harmless, but over time, they get worse. Before we know it, they become these monumental obstacles that dictate our daily routine, our health, and even our happiness.


I'm not here to lecture - because I've been there myself. Wanting to make a change, setting early alarms to work out in the morning, only to hit snooze when the time comes. It's that frustrating dance between motivation and pursuit.


But here's the upside. What if these habits, as ingrained as they may seem, are not as entrenched as we think? What if there's a way out of these patterns? And I don't mean some overblown, quick-fix solution. I'm talking about a genuine and systematic approach to understanding why we do what we do and, more importantly, how we can change it.


The truth is that behind these routines is science, psychology, and a bit of art. They don't happen by accident. And while habits may seem like they're set in stone, with the right approach, they can be shaped, molded, and even eliminated. Read on because we're about to get to the heart of habit formation, the 10-step method behind the madness, and how you can take control of them.

How Do You Form a Habit?

Here is the 10-step method behind forming new habits and replacing the bad ones.


1. The Reality Check: Your Brain is Wired That Way

First things first, understanding our brains. See, our brains are wired for efficiency. They absolutely love habits because habits are automatic. When something's automatic, the brain doesn’t have to work as hard. It’s that simple. So when you indulge in a habit, good or bad, you're essentially training your brain to recognize a pattern.


2. The Golden Rule: Start With The 'Why'

Why do you want to kick your caffeine habit? Is it because you're losing sleep? Or are you trying to save money? The more personal your reasons, the more likely you’ll stick to the new routine. It’s about passion, purpose, and what gets you out of bed in the morning - not some vague idea that “it’s good for you.”


3. Setting Yourself Up for Success: Small Steps, Big Results

I can’t stress this enough – start small. Don’t dive headfirst. If you want to read more, start with a page a night, not a chapter. Once that’s easy, bump it up. Progress is a game of inches, not miles.


4. The Power of Association: Habit Stacking

This one's a game-changer. Link the new habit with an established one. Brush your teeth every morning? Stack two minutes of deep breathing right after. You’re already accustomed to brushing your teeth; adding a tiny habit after makes the transition smoother.


5. Be the Odd One Out: Environment is Everything

Want to eat healthier? Get that junk food out of your sight. Studies show we’re more likely to eat what we see first. So, position yourself for success. Surround yourself with the right tools, people, and mindset.


6. The Double-Edged Sword: Rewards

While it’s great to reward yourself, be careful. If you're trying to eat healthy, don't reward five days of salads with a weekend binge. Find rewards outside of the habit. Read daily for a month? Buy that new pair of sneakers you’ve been eyeing.


7. The Accountability Game: Make it Public

Announce your new habit. Tell a friend. Post it on social media. When others know about your journey, you’re more likely to stick to it. And trust me, the cheerleading helps.


8. Embrace The Fall: We're All Human

You'll falter. You'll miss a day. But guess what? It’s okay. What's crucial is getting back on track ASAP. Don't wait for Monday or next month. Start immediately.


9. Mind Over Matter: The Mental Challenge

Realize that bad habits often serve as crutches. They're coping mechanisms. Understand the underlying issues. Is that nighttime snacking because you're hungry or because you're bored? Address the root, not just the symptom.


10. The Big Picture: The 66-Day Rule

Forget the old myth about 21 days. Research suggests it takes, on average, 66 days to form a habit. Be patient. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.


The idea that it takes 21 days to form a new habit is a common belief, but the reality is a bit more complex. This notion was popularized by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon in the 1960s, who observed that it took approximately 21 days for his patients to get used to their new appearance. However, more recent research suggests that the time it takes to form a habit can vary widely depending on the individual and the habit being formed.


A 2009 study led by Dr. Phillippa Lally at the University College London found that, on average, it takes about 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic or habitual. However, the study also highlighted that the duration varied among participants, with a range from 18 to 254 days. This indicates that several factors, including the individual’s personality, the complexity of the behavior, and the context in which the habit is formed, play crucial roles in how quickly habits are developed.


So, while the 21-day rule might work as a kickstart to embark on a journey toward habit formation, it is essential to note that establishing a robust, automatic habit likely requires more time and consistency.

Keep in Mind

You see, at the end of the day, our lives are basically a sum total of our habits. The things we do daily, repeatedly, define our outcomes. So, understanding our habits? It's not just self-improvement; it’s self-empowerment.


At the end of the day, it's about more than just habits. It's about the life you want to live, the person you want to become. It's about legacy. So, next time you hit the snooze button or grab that extra cookie, ask yourself, "Is this serving my future self?"

And remember, it's not about how many times you fall, but about how many times you get back up.


To dive deeper, read this article on The Cheat Code to Understanding Ourselves.

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